insomnia lurks under my bed waiting to creep up:
missing the mattress and the multi-hundred threads of my sheets and covers, it takes to rest, burrowing and twining it's tentacles together with the fibers of my head. a heightened sense of anecdotal alchemy lifts me from the bed and to my notebook, as i commence with my thoughts to the blog. choice words and thoughts choose me, unlike before when i chose them. they seep to the surface of the darkness in my head, much so as the early morning light through my shades. i struggle with vocabulary a bit as i toss my thoughts down, but much less than normal today as my dreams, perhaps, have enlightened me.
almost 3 decades old and still uncertain about everything. sure i'm surviving, but for what? looking forward always seems brighter, but when i get there it's dark. change: so exciting, but so lonely. is it what i need again to be happy: a new chapter with new characters, new adventures, new places? perhaps. if so, i must do it now before it gets too late; before i get in deeper with material objects that have already started to own me and keep me stagnant; before people whom i rely on for work and for pleasure become a habit. the challenge of starting from scratch in a new place with no work and no friends thrills me to no end! but it certainly comes with a price.
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