pov

a whole, crisp clear perspective has developed. it makes more sense than ever before. and yet, im more lost than ever before. when did clarity become so confusing?

me

i don't understand it; i'll never understand it.

observation 1,113,113,113

people are strange. they walk around pretending to have everything they need, coffee, newspaper, breakfast bar with the pre-melted milk inside. it's funny though--you always seem them scrambling, looking in pockets or purses-- searching for the missing.

one

and so i ran like i only know how triping over the words fumbleing, for a momment i thought i was in and as i am use to i ran scareid. my own shadow jumped in the way and i ran one looked at me as i left. into the rain i went and stoped one fallowed and we danced for a momment. then again i ran like i always do and only know how, always trying to say words to make one fall for me. one makes me tremmble with a fear the only fear i know. why is one so hard to talk to why do i have to say words cant i show one what i feal cant one just know? she she has my heart and why?

DEAR SLEEP

dear sleep


you're a fickle friend and all to absent, erratically stepping in and out of my life, no real explanations ever given. you and i had an appointment last night, but once again, you were no where to be found.


and so where does that leave me? red-eyed and crazed, battling mild hallucinations. everything seems too bright, too exaggerated, yet still somehow there is something missing from people's faces and their eyes, like a colorless color you only notice when its gone.


you are an untrustwory associate at best. i'm starting to lose faith in you completely. seems like i haven't seen you in days

leaf clover

a whole, crisp clear perspective has developed. it makes more sense than ever before. and yet, im more lost than ever before. when did clarity become so confusing?

when i awake from a nothingness, i look back at the past grind and see an abyss. a wasted time off light makeing me want to live it again. i do and the same blackness of what re-plays. converes with a light that can not be seen by me. i envy the souls who see out of the abyss and recover a clover from the patch, for my patch has no leafs of for. everything i feel, make, work, try turns to and stays nothing. i need a change i need a four leaf clover.

and so i shut my eyes for another nothingness. if they open at the end, what should i do who should i become. find it i must a clover of four. so then tell me am i searching for the wrong myth or are they all the same, unicorns, nomes, bottles in witch magical beings dwell and grant three, fairys, a fuzzy foot. or do i change and live the new abyss as it comes, not to be me but differant as a whole. i have no answer for. ahh rest i want need the only thing i do right. rest with a nothing in my abyss.