cycle race

coming soon

just out of blues

i was recently reading a few reviews of rock music through the ages by an obvious fan of sixties music. he certainly had well-informed and interesting insights into the music of that era but somehow adopted a patronizing attitude about musicians from the later decades. led zeppelin, iron maiden and dream theater were all dismissed as superfluous. similarly fans of bands from the seventies and eighties seem highly critical of any bands of the nineties. in the midst of all these opinions i’ll add my own two cents worth. to evaluate art is to demean it and so essentially all these ratings of bands or albums on a scale of 5 or 10 is meaningless. i feel it’s important to remember the context of art and also the limitations of the artist whenever it is being examined. how can someone who grew up in the sixties truly appreciate what iron maiden meant to the generation of the eighties? similarly how can someone who grew up in the seventies understand the reverence that the youth of the nineties have for eddie vedder? in the same vein the younger generation can probably never truly estimate the impact that hendrix or the who had on the hippie generation. even so, it’s pretty sad that the appreciation or tolerance for music from another age is so negligible. i can talk or write about this for hours but armed with the knowledge that what i have to say is essentially going to fall on deaf ears, i shall do what most geniuses fail to – edit themselves!!

rite now

started swiming again and feeling good about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOTHING ELSE to UPDATE!!!! 

ta exo's.............

ha!!! how could i miss this

right now!!!!

death magnetic

fyi: this is perfection. every second, every note, every lyric - this is a sixty seven minute orgasm.

rick rubin.
rick rubin!
rick rubin!!!

RICK FUCKIN RUBIN MAN!!!!!

the same rubin who has produced albums for shakira, justin timberlake, run dmc and ll coolj.

er.

it's the same rubin who has produced albums for slayer, RATM, RHCP, audioslave and danzig.

metal up yer fucking ass!!!!

mambo number five

although it’s an impossible task to come up with top five type thingys, it’s a fun thing to do on a boring tuesday afternoon.

top five most heard songs of all time

1) coldplay- scientist
2) black sabbath- paranoid
3) metallica- no leaf clover
4) pink floyd- high hopes
5) oasis- force of nature tied with led zeppelin- stairway to heaven

top five feel good/ cheer me up/ anti depressant songs of all time

1) dido- slide
2) simon and garfunkel- it’s a hazy shade of winter
3) the verve- velvet morning
4) ratm- killing in the name of
5) beach boys- california dreaming tied with the animals-it's my life

top five feel like shit/ life sucks/ depressing songs of all time

1) radio head- how to disappear completely
2) travis- why does it always rain on me
3) requiem for a dream soundtrack
4) ozzy- dreamer
5) matchbox twenty- unwell tied with metallica- king nothing

top five funniest songs of all time

1) frank zappa- catholic girls
2) steve vai- fuck yourself
3) george thorogood and the destroyers - one bourbon, one scotch, one beer
4) alice cooper- devils food
5) ehite stripes- fell in love with a girl

top five chick songs

1) bjork- human behavior
2) heart- crazy on you.
3) tori amos- spark
4) suzanne vega- tom’s diner
5) karunesh- punjab tied with aimee mann- one

top five romantic songs of all time

1) the cult- painted on my heart
2) blue oyster cult- burning for you
3) peter frampton- baby, i love your way
4) white snake- is this love
5) van morrison- moon dance

top five songs with the coolest names:

1) rob halford- silent screams
2) iggy pop- lust for life
3) metallica- carpe diem baby
4) stillwater - mindbender.
5) sentenced- bleed in my arms

top five all time favorite songs:

1) blue oyster cult- don’t fear the reaper
2) metallica- unforgiven
3) iron maiden- troopers
4) rainbow- temple of the king
5) the doors- the end

top five covers of all time:

1) metallica- turn the page
2) johnny cash- hurt
3) cradle of filth- hallowed be thy name.
4) pearl Jam- last kiss
5) korn- another brick in the wall

top five songs that have special significance:

1) oasis- wonder wall
2) guns and roses- november rain
3) duran duran- come undone
4) inxs – after glow
5) white snake- eings on the storm

irrespective of how hastily this list was made, ten years down the line, when i will read this post i will remember that there is no greater way of feeling happy on a boring monday night than to make a ‘top five all time’ list of your music.

considering i was quite happy prior to making the list, this short exercise has been such a mood enhancer, right now, i just want to lock myself in my room for another 3 days and listen to all those songs/bands that i have forgotten about.
fuck! i feel so so so good. there is no greater therapy than music.

ZZzzzzzzzz.......

you can sleep peacefully like a baby when you.......

• stay up all night and listen to massive attack/ coldplay/ supertramp and watch some 1221321 episodes of batman: beyond
• take an early morning walk to the nearest hill and get a good look at how astonishingly beautiful bangalore is.
• have vada sambar with filter coffee for breakfast
• sleep for 5 minutes in an empty bath tub
• stand under the hot shower for some 15 minutes
• go on a aimless bike ride
  
• while you are at it, abuse a auto driver or two
• have your mother cook your favorite dish, eat outside and then face her wrath.
• take the car out for a spin and go speed crazy whilst listening to kylie minogue on the radio.
  
• abuse more auto-drivers
• make peace with your mother and eat the afternoon’s preparations for dinner
  
• while you are at it, make her happy by cleaning the kitchen
• put up a blog
  
• put on the fan to full speed, strip to your boxer shorts and wrap yourself in a 12321412 inch blanket
• smile and submit yourself to hypnos.

damn pissed!!!!

when you ask your friend his age, he says, “the number you get after subtracting four times the square of my age from two times your age will be thrice your age” 
whats his age? 

if some friend of mine said this, i would look around for a baseball bat. on its non-availability, i would poke him in the eye and then kick him in the shin with my pointed leather shoes and then i would kick him in the crotch with my knee.

i would then look down at the figure crawling at my feet and say

“go fuck yourself, you fucking genius.....why can’t you fucking answer a straight question without displaying your extreme intelligence”

fucking aptitude tests....i fucking hate them.

wow i wish i could see the world burn right now.

 
bastards....

semi charmed life!!

out of nowhere, i am feeling creative, right now, i want to say a million brilliant things but instead i gulp down a shot of reality and drag myself to bed. 

there is nothing brilliant to say, there is nothing brilliant to do. 

just nothingness. 

tomorrow waits for me eagerly on the other side of this night,fuck! what a drag. 

i want to get lost, i want to disappear, i want to get away from everything that i love, i want to stand on the edge of this world for a minute or two and then, i want to jump. i want out. 

batman

sometime back while watching the justice league, batman is up against a mind controlling psycho super villain. batman is lying on the floor completely drugged and the super villain goes on and on mind fucking batman, the super villain kneels down in front of batman and says

“batman you are not like the other members of the justice league, they all have superpowers where as you don’t have any, you are just a troubled kid in a funny bat suite” 

batman looks up, stares at the super villain in the face and says (in that absolutely menacing voice), “you are wrong, i have a superpower, i never give up” 

ahoy.

what man!

i am feeling pretty uninspired today so i google image search “inspire me”.  this is the first picture that showed up.  cheesy.

nerd alert*

i have one question?

if f of x is less than or equal to f of x naught multiplied by the coefficient of mu, are we saying that mu is less than one?

easy to follow directions. dig it.

aaawwwww

who's afraid of Virginia Woolf????

"there is probably some irony in there, i'm just not drunk enough to find out!" 

no, no, no, no, no, no.....

don't or i will die!!!!!

freak

i went to dinner on tuesday night with some good friends and as we were leaving, payal started to get emotional because she was drunk and overwhelmed with some thoughts. when we got to the valet, she was semi-sobbing and the two dudes running the stand looked at her like she was crazy pf something.

"i know what you're thinking, but i'm crying because i'm pregnant and i'm getting an abortion in the morning!"

after the shocked registered in their faces, we burst out laughing between and totally in tears she and said "haha! i'm just kidding. i'm just drunk and emotional!"

then we got in the car and left, pretty much.

on a scale of one to ten, I would say it was about "awesome".

TIMMA where art thou?

TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?
TIMMA where art thou?

think

exo's\\\\\yeah you the readers//// .........how about...........

..............making
.........................porn
................................and
.....................................freeing
..............................................tibet!!!!!!

think about and let me know

he offers
a handshake
crooked
five fingers
they form a pattern
yet to be matched

on the surface simplicity
but the darkest pit in me
it's pagan poetry
pagan poetry

.............bjork pagan poetry

ode to!!!!!

you came with silent footfalls.

i was afraid that you wouldn’t make it this year.

how foolish of me like as always. in the last week of november, temperatures fell abruptly, the air acquired an edge to it and there you were, winter.

i’ve missed you. since we last parted a particularly cruel summer has broken much of my spirit.

the rains did nurture me for a while but i was staring out of my windows waiting for you, frost queen, my best friend. now that you’re going to be here, things will be ok again.

i can smile to myself when you run your icy fingers through my hair. i will laugh when you make me shudder as you lay an unexpected hand over the back of my neck.

you will bring that air of expectancy with you, as always. i have no words to describe that almost supernatural awe you fill me with.

the two of us will lie with bated breath, not moving, just thinking. how lovely, those frigid hours spent brooding. how sweet the silence as we contemplate each other.

must you go as quickly as you came?

summer is a bitch. even as would rejoice in each other’s company, she would lie over southern skies, sharpening her claws, preparing for her reign of terror in the coming months.

and reign she will, without mercy or compassion, slowly draining me. my mind will be addled in the heat, my body damp with slimy sweat. there will be no respite. through the dog day afternoons of march to may, i must meet her unblinking gaze and suffocate in her crushing embrace.

but she is not yet here so let’s make the best of things. the nights are still long and cold, the mornings bleak. your friends, leaden sky and chill wind, would be with us.

my mind has never felt clearer, my senses never heightened thus. there is still that bite in the air that will lengthen my stride and hasten my walk.

this is the season of thought, of actions, of repercussions and best of all, of solitude.
the time to reflect and take stock is upon us.

raise the drawbridge, fill up the moat.
from hereon in, it’s just you and me, babe.
how ‘bout it?

a kind of magic!!!!!!!

the lights went out and it was then that i realized how much i’d been longing for this moment.

i’m just sitting there, waiting to be entertained and trying to relax and yet, in spite of myself, i’m straining forward intently, peering into the darkness, wondering about what is going to unfold in the next hour or so. i suspect i wasn’t the only one either.

somehow that darkness has a way of fusing each and every member of the audience into one large organism. an expectant hush envelops us and we wait impatiently – fidgeting in our seats, clearing our throats, three hundred pairs of eyes focused on the stage.

let there be light.

a small area of the stage is slowly illuminated. this is a spectacle in itself. the light just slowly seeps into the darkness, uncovering a very small area of the stage, revealing a hazy form that crystallizes into one of the actors.

three hundred jaws drop in one synchronized motion to the floor.

let there be sound.

the first lines are spoken and then you know that the sucker punch has been delivered. there is simply no turning back.

so, this is what alice felt as she fell through the rabbit-hole.

thanks suds!!!!

bohemian rhapsody

i’m a path of cinders burning under your feet

you’re the one who walks me; i’m your one way street

-bjork.

the land between the swamp of pop and the jagged cliffs of electronica, it is her kingdom.

i shifted my backpack so that its weight would rest easier on my frail shoulders. the backpack is heavy, the manual of rock music aficionados accounting for almost all of its weight. the manual contains all the rules that you are expected to follow as a Rock Fan.

rule #1 : Thou Shalt Not Appreciate Any Music That Is Not Guitar-and Drums Based.. bollocks!

and as i reached the end of my journey, weak and weary, i waited for her to sing to me.

she is a girl in a pretty white frock standing in the middle of a meadow.

she is the approaching roar of a world war 2 aircraft.

she is the evil grin on the pilot’s face as he presses down on the triggers.

she is the round of ammunition that screams across the sky and blows the girl in the white dress into a million pieces.

she is the blade of grass that bends in the wake of the plane.

she is the beautiful beast.

bjork, why do i love you so?

“if you forget my name, you’ll go astray…like a killer whale trapped in a bay”.

ISO 9001:2000 Internal Auditor

it came in the mail and it is official now – i’m a qualified ISO 9001:2000 Internal Auditor.

as i ripped open the envelope i must confess to my heart performing one of keith moon’s faster drum rolls in my rib cage.

much as i abhor self-congratulation (more due to an unshakable fear of tempting fate than modesty), i couldn’t resist a fist-pump and a mental ‘come on!’ as my eyes fell on the ‘certificate of completion’ bit.

it was a nice moment - but not quite the super-orgasm i had always imagined it to be. i’m as weary as I am relieved.

what is tragic, comic, ironic and just plain damn icky is that the occasion is going to go by without so much as a single drop of alcohol being consumed. happiness once used to come in multiples of thirty and we used to get shitfaced over no reason at all and for good or bad those days are all over. hmmm.

while my eyes aren’t getting moist, my mouth is certainly going dry.

why so SERIOUS!!!!!!

google

don't you hate how google chat forces you to think of people you try and go days and weeks without thinking of just because you're checking your gosh darn email?

you know what i mean... you're checking your email and to the left of the screen pops up the name of a former friend or lover that you have managed to remove from your life in almost every capacity? it's like google's inadvertent way of reminding you that you are a failure when it comes to human relationships.

i know there are options to remove g-chat from your email screen, but i feel like that's admitting you've fucked up with many of your email contacts and that's just too much for me to give in to. i've been a silent sufferer up until this point and i will continue to put myself in this situation as a lesson to treat people better, especially those who have g-mail

more....

there are many things that i write about in this blog that boarder on "too personal" for me... my woman troubles, for one. but there are many many things i won't even touch upon because they are so meaningful or evoke so much emotion that i feel if i were to somehow try and explain these feelings into words that they would be cheapened. i don't write about my last relationship, i don't write about my father.

i'll never be able to truly explain the way i feel about music, and i can't even really try much more than i just have. most people live their whole lives wondering if they will ever meet the person/the thing who moves them in the way music moves me... it's not a case of being struck... i think some people feel this way about the pope. it is a confirmation of my belief system and the way i live my life.

question it

“when driving alone, what do you do? sing along to the radio? think about your day? something else?”

as a citizen of bangalore, i am sitting in me car for a fair portion of me morning. there was a time when me commute would total an hour fifteen minutes, and me office is about 5 kms from apartment. luckily, ever since and even as a child, i have a keen ability to entertain meself for hours on end.

usually i start the morning drive with a dance party. while most people would be embarrassed to get down the way i do, i figure that the people in the other cars appreciate it as much as i would if i saw some chick in her vehicle going. pathetic in a delicious way.

i talk to meself frequently. i work through bits, give meself pep talks and quote movies, lyrics and television. this is not something i can control, and have actually started talking to meself so absent-mindedly (i'm pretty sure that's a made up word) that i've surprised meself-- like i actually can't believe that i've done it. it's like when your muscles shake when you're dehydrated after a night of drinking, and you can't believe that your body is doing something so crazy without much notice or real explanation other than you need to stop drinking and smoking so much pot. that's actually a horrible analogy, but it is insight to me personality that warrants not being deleted and replaced with something self conscience.

p.s. i'm crazy.

the rest of the time i chat on the phone, wrestle me imaginary dog into sitting down, smoke cigarettes compulsively and think about times in me life i've fucked up by saying or doing the wrong thing. you wouldn't want to drive in front or back of me, basically. i guess that's what i've been trying to say this whole time.

on me way out of the door

this is what i am going to bring to my 3 day trip to delhi

-whatever is on my body when i leave
-ipod
-camera
-2 pairs of shorts
-my warn off 3 quarter denims
-3 tshirts
-the book pesky lent me

so who's ready to party?

...............................................

swallow your fucking pride and choke on it.

i'm basically craving happiness.

i'm not fucking ok.....

wtf? dfdajsfhsgdafdshfjkadhfjgdafsdahfjdsaghfjasd.... you make me feel... i dont even know.

a year!!!! alomst.... you're still there.

it’s an addiction, a drug that gets you high and i’m craving it beyond anything

it's fun to lie down when everybody else is up. it's awful to be up when everybody else is down. it didn't start out that way.

now my stomach aches.

i told you in that dream that i won't wait for you, but for some reason i can't let go.

why do i always feel alone at crowded place.

you cannot delete it from me.

these words ain't dry right now.

lost in silent summer sky.

this..












....................................................................................................... is who i have become.

tangled

i can never keep my mouth shut!

it's not that i don't want to, it's this damn affliction. too much mind, not enough spirit??? well, that's not entirely true, i'm engrossed in the spirit of life without the depth of knowing.

buddha forsakes me because i am too hyper to meditate. i know i need to lean more his way, but something in nurture is killing my nature. i'm told i've got some time to catch up, but fatalism is a powerful employer and she's hard to tame.

am i really damned for the rest of my years to repeat the mistakes of the 29 i've already endured? surely someone knows better than me, you perhaps?

nah, i loathe false idols or maybe i'm just to dumb to go along.

tied up

everything suddenly seems so collapsible.

so temporary.

lord's greatest gift

occasionally, i like eating in fancy restaurants; the experience is a complete contradiction in comparison to eating at ‘ordinary’ places, which by itself is another amazing experience.

i like a lot of things in a fancy restaurant, the way the napkins are folded, the lighting, the way the table is set, the way the waiter of dubious chinese origin walks around the place (much like a shaolin monk), the couples having a ‘moment’ between a meal, (not that i stare, just assuming that they do, i am sure they do, we have had such ‘moments’), the humbling effect a waiter invokes in me by calling me ‘sir’, that’s by far the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

actually, the most uncomfortable feeling in the world is asking for permission to use the loo, anyways, its right up there with all the top uncomfortable feelings.

i try and put on me best behavior, i tend to eat me meal like a time traveler who has just traveled from the victorian era.

last week, i went to magnolia, a fancy chinese place in koramangala, with two of me mates. a shaolin monk disguised as a waiter welcomed us with a smile; we acknowledged his gesture with an enthusiastic nod and entered the place, of course, i was leading the hungry pack, three steps into the posh interiors of magnolia, me mate whispers into me ear

“dude your pant......its torn from the backside”

“what? “

me hand involuntarily moves to check the level of damage,

“no, don’t check, trust me. you will attract attention, just walk in front of me”

i did as i was told. we got to our seats and for obvious reasons i took the seat next to the wall.

the next forty-five minutes i was the butt of all jokes, good fun nevertheless.

the food was typically ‘fancy’. it was only after dinner when i went to the restroom did i realize the magnitude of the situation, what was previously me back pocket was now a four-inch-by-four-inch window into me inside world. i literally crawled out of the bathroom like an exposed snail and convinced rajat to part with his pullover type thingy,
i tied the pullover type thingy around me waist like an 80’s rock star and spent the next half hour wondering if i spent half the day walking in and around mg road with me left butt hanging out for everyone to see.

me last thought before i put up this post:

underwear after free will is god’s greatest gift to mankind.

writin..hoe

me: dude.
suds: hola! wassup?
me: don't laugh.
me: i'm off to kumbakonam.

and then i quoted this info from wiki to him, to soften the blow:
according to legend, kumbakonam is the location where the kumbha (pot) in which brahma placed the seed of creation during the great deluge came to rest. kumbakonam is thus said to be the location from which life in the current cycle of creation first came forth.

i bet you didn't know that.
that nugget about the seed of creation being placed in kumbakonam is just killer. the poor wriggling sods that make up my own seed of creation are all going to wither up and die in the mother ship in the place blessed with THE seed of creation. fucking circle of life, man. is it not written, "there is many a lip (and usually a maximum of one slip, ahahahah) between the mother ship and motherhood?". well, now it is.

why am i traveling to the most fucked up places in india?.

and what does mani do when i expect some brotherly sympathy?
mani: dude.im from a small village near kumbakonam
mani: ive been there n hazaar times
mani: my upanayanam happened there
ganja: fuck.
mani: updating blog now.
mani: berlin trip.

how does it feeeeel, as bob bylan asked, to be going to kumbakonam when your friend is humping euro-whores? not good.
ganja: having safe sex?
mani: er...safe jackoffs is more like it.

turns out the friend is not humping euro-whores but that doesn't make me feel any better about going to kumbakonam.

hehe he

a friend in need is fine,
a friend with weed is better!!!!!

tarantinoesque

what is tarantinoesque?

anything with profanity and arterial sprays seems to be the consensus. or tarantino is probably the new kafka. whoever knew what kafkaesque meant?

it's just a cool thing to say.

The smc PENTAX-DA* 50-135mm f/2.8 ED AL[IF]SDM

somebody buy me this please..... please.
(will worship thy for the rest of thy life)

OMG RSVP

\m/

they say drinking is a recipe for a black hole and i say i’ve got my best shoes on. i’m ready to go....

"""""""the darkies""""""""

i have to say that when i saw this yesterday i laughed for about a minute and just stared at it.

then i started reading some other stuff and a moment or two later went back to look at it again.

and then again.

basically, became a little bit autistic over this picture.

i set it as my desktop.

i saved the photo in my documents folder.

i've looked at it two more times since then.

and every time i laughed so hard that if i had been in a coffee shop as opposed to the safety of my own bedroom, i would be blogging this from a white padded cell.

now i'm posting it for you to see.

it's totally cool if you don't get it, but trust me when I say that it's really awesome

responding to a reader's email ... in a mind fucked way...

this is an email i received sometime last month that was just re-forwarded to me by its original author who follows my twitter feed:

“i can't believe i just spent 30 minutes reading your blogs.

they are like a bloody car crash, but i love them.”

can i just say for the record, that i am both completely conscious and unconscious of me utter lack of impulse control that often manifests itself as a blog entry? i know i'm doing it before, during and after doing it, but i don't know how to stop. living extremely candidly when i feel the urge has been what's best for me in a lot of ways. it's just a random personal blog that has some pretty passionate readers and stuff. let's keep it loose. i don't want to drag everyone through the mud with me when i'm not feeling happy or snarky, but i am a person. i've got all of the emotions and sometimes i have all of them at the same time.

yes, i have totally written things on this blog with tears streaming down me face so hard that i could barely make out the words i was typing (btw, what an attractive mental image. can you shoot me for including that? this is exactly what i mean. thank you for allowing me to prove me previous point. moving on...) yes, i've been writing some things here and elsewhere and been simultaneously thinking "hey, the consequences of putting this out there could be people thinking shitty things about you, those that you're writing about, and your mother for not raising you to just shut the fuck up and deal the way people did before blogs existed." i realize that there are quite a number of people i could have almost wrecklessly offended or hurt with some of the things i've said. part of me completely hates myself for it at times...

am i going to die alone because i'm like this? maybe.

i have learned that even though that's the last thing i want, it might be exactly what i get. it's cool because i guess it just fucking has to be. [Note to editors who will undoubtedly pick up this up for the think-piece you write about me: "it's cool because i guess it just fucking has to be." is the quote i would like to have next to the smiling picture of my face, blown up and in italics.

if i write about being hurt or upset or scared, it's not an open invitation for people to validate me. as much as i am an attention-whoring love-sponge, i am also a big fucking boi. i just happen to document a fair portion of me life in a ridiculously public manner. not every day is going to be sunshine and roses or iced coffee and bong hits. not every girl i care about is going to feel the same way back. not every work day, even at the best jobs, is going to be challenging in an interesting or fun way.

in an ideal world, i would wake up in a bed made of feathers at 1030 am, go swimming at the beach and spend the rest of the day watching movies and sipping beer and getting tanned and not putting on anymore weight. i'd have this really funny and awesome girlfriend who gets it and wants to spend the time with me whenever we aren't off somewhere being awesome individuals. but that's not me life or anyone's life.

if Kate Hudson is allowed to get dumped by a uniballed bike-jockey, then i am allowed to write about me feelings nearly inconsequentially all over the fucking internet. i'm sorry, that's just how logic works. if you don't get it, you must not have taken a logic class in school and therefore your issue is not with me, but your parents or whomever raised you for not making your high school education a sturdy one.

i hate to sweep something under the rug that started fairly earnestly with dumb jokes about testicular cancer. here: if your read this blog, which the author himself is admitting is a completely self-indulgent, typically mindless series of anecdotes, jokes and shit he found on the internet, i expect that you're probably a mix of the following: horrified, intrigued, concerned, empathetic, mildly otherwise-amused, and possibly fairly indifferent but you have a lot of time at work. in response to all emotions listed above and more, i say this to you: i feel the same way reading it, too. i'm learning a lot about myself and that feels really good because i'm enormously self-involved.

arbit

i hope, i think, i know. oasis

when i was in like, 11th or 12th grade i bought this tape in mall in chandigarh. also, i was like 20 kg thinner than i am now and a couple inches shorter. i also wore a lot of green corduroy around that time. these are all just details.

anyway, i love this song because it's sad, but it doesn't make you feel sad as much as you just kind of like...think when you're listening to it. it reminds me of growing up in jammu and when the air would get crisper around late august or early september and you knew it was happening because the air you were breathing went from kind of warm and sticky to so noticeably fresh that it would hit the back of your nose when you inhaled and your whole head would start to feel a little bit cold. maybe that's a unique experience and we're only few days into August so it's premature to be pumped for fall, but i am.

i'm excited for changes right now.

pre-venture

sometimes before i go out at night i like to sit in my bed for about an hour, listening to music and chewing on a piece of my hair.

this is usually the time where i think about my friends and family back home, close out my daydreams that i've started that day and delete the spam in my inbox.

it is honestly some of the only time i get to think about shit for real and i love it.

in other news, my armpits look less like baby vaginas right now.....

you read this blog because.....

..it's one of the only ones that will post a picture of a teeny tiny toy dog wearing a bra.

a conversation between friends

me. i am not that emotional.
her. what?! you're not emotional?

me. not really.
random. you are very emotional. you're like oprah's used tampon.

check this out !!!!!!!

http://www.wavecrest.org.uk/wavecrest/Quest%20tease%2010.htm

damn you

i have two moods, rad and fuckin furious

rolf

i love this shyte!!!!!

...........................................................................

laying on the terrace on tshirt blanket these days with roomie is my new favorite thing in the world.

...!!!!!!...???(*&%^&$^*)

i miss meself!!!!!!!

batdorks

a mate of mine sent me this mail after reading my blog on batman and the status message on facebook bail.

"Allow me to guess the events of the last 24 hours at your house:
1) After weeks of planning, you realize you've outgrown the Batman footie pajamas from your childhood that you had your mom ship to your apartment.

2) To reconcile this, you spent the hours leading up to midnight on an elliptical machine while wearing ankle weights and a black cape.

3) Several hours later when the footie pajamas still didn't fit, you "gave in" and pinned it to your pants and referred to it as your "Man Dick Cover" when anyone gave you a strange look at the theater. The words "Why you lookin' at my Man Dick Cover? Yeeeaaaahhhhh." left your lips more than once.

4) Three hours of Batman.

5) Six hours of crying and stenciling your new Heath Ledger "In Memoriam" tattoo.

6) Getting said tattoo.

7) Re-donning your Man Dick Cover and doing it all over again, only this time with more swearing."



i felt sick man................

a conversation between friends

after one of my fav friday gigs we were about to leave. jason was looking off into the distance. after saying his name a few times, he turned around and this is what went down:

me: what are you doing?
jason: have you ever seen ruby in paradise? it stars ashley judd and it's from 1993.
me: no?
jason: well, it's a really good movie and there's this scene were ashley judd's character is staring out of a window and the breeze is hitting her face and she's really thankful for everything she has. i was just trying to create that moment for myself.

and THAT is what i have been looking for all me life.

Batman....then and now.....forever

the next time you're walking down crime alley mugging or thieving or killing waiting for a middle aged man in an outrageous costume to kick your butt, i want you to remember something. that middle aged man might say something cliched. or he might not. but when he's done with you, you're not going to be laughing, make no mistake about it

- in your darkest hour, ganja. toldja, didn’t i?! (what do you mean ‘get a life’? it’s not like anyone else is queuing up to quote me)

yes, mr. joker sir, i think he's going to wipe that plastic smile off your face, sir except i don't think you figure in the movie.. i can see him on top of one of gotham's numerous high-rises. or at least his silhouette. and when he says "i am vengeance. i am the night. i.am. batman.", i can smell the stink of your fear rising up through gotham's mean streets. but look at the dark side. at least it's better than getting busted by an overgrown boy scout.

then

if you're a gotham city criminal, it is simply your lot in life to suffer.

in the sixties, adam west would foil your devious plans by inflicting cruel laughing fits. you would have him and that boy brat, robin, dangling over a pit of toxic chemicals, with a snowball's chance in hell of escaping.

all you had to do was flip the switch.

but, no, you had to savor your triumph. you had to gloat and stick your tongue out at the two of '.em .mr. narrator would intone something like

'what will the caped crusader do this time? will batman and Robin escape? or will the joker have the last laugh? Find out tomorrow!!'.

after a good night's sleep, batman would suddenly recall that he has a voice activated bat-sock-it-to-those-bastards-belt that emits this migraine inducing sound wave. you and your underlings keel over; batsy and robin hand out a few knuckle sandwiches biff!

thug 1 goes flying towards the far wall. kapow!!

thug 2 (who patiently waits for thug 1 to be disposed before making a move) is deposited on the floor.

you would shake your fist at the heroes and slink away to sulk in your hideout. 'holy supersonics, batman!!', boy wonder would exclaim in an admiring tone that does nothing to quell those nasty rumors about the two of them being more than *cough* just friends.

those thugs never stood a chance - as weapons go, sword-pen-adam west's dork knight antics. you just can't fight and laugh at the same time. (ah! how come batman and robin are immune to the sound wave?, i hear you ask. that's where the earplug fitted bat-cowl comes in handy, you idiot. and it also ensures that our boys never catch a cold).

hollywood has been only slightly more kind to you. sure, jack nicholson played your part once. but before you could say 'tsk, tsk, batsy', they hired arnold. as if you didn't look stupid enough getting your ass kicked by george clooney.

when i first heard that made me feel a hell of a lot worse, christian bale is the next batman. bale of american psycho fame. he played patrick bateman (a not so subtle nod to norman bates, perhaps?) in that movie. patrick bateman is a loose cannon. given a chance, he likes to kill people by dropping chainsaws on them. he likes collecting trivia about serial killers. did you know what one serial killer would think when he saw a pretty woman on the road? one part of him would think, 'i want that woman'. and there'd be this other part that would wonder how her head would look on a stick. this sort of thing amuses pat bateman endlessly. pat bateman. destiny? hmm.

now

thank you christian bale. thanks for showing the world the batman i know and fear – a real mean motor scooter, an obsessed, driven psychopath who sometimes makes you feel he belongs in the same asylum that lodges most of his long term enemies. thanks for letting us know , in your own words from batman begins, that “clearly a guy who dresses up as a bat has some issues”(the way he spits’ bat’ out almost makes you believe words can taste bad).

yes, i caught the dark knight, something that deserves the three exclamation marks that will follow shortly!!!

six hours have passed since the fantastic last scene where- no, methinks you’d much rather watch it yourself. six hours have passed since the movie ended and my heartbeat’s slowed down enough for me to actually write something more than baleisbatmanisgodisbaleisbatmanisgod about how i feel. and now i feel that bale, as batman, is god. bale’s bruce wayne performance gave me the creeps- the guy should be banned from wearing dapper suits. remember ‘try getting a reservation in fucking dorsia’s now!!’ from american psycho? yeah right, like anyone could forget. *shudder* having an actor who can finally justify batman’s title as the dark knight, but what makes it great is that heath ledger rocks or outrocks “if there is a work like that” every one out their roles just as well as bale does, and that the script is fucking A and that you can actually watch the action sequences without going into a sulk over fireballs that move in slow motion.

i neither know nor care for what a non-batman fan would make of the movie. personally, while i may not exactly worship the ground the batman glides over (i know well enough to steer well clear of it if i ever take to a life of crime in gotham city), i did read the three hundred plus scanned pages of the long halloween (which scriptwriter david s goyer quotes as a big influence) comic in one sitting. and so if director christopher nolan had muffed the movie up, i would have considered writing a long, angry letter to dc telling them to stop making batman movies. the thought of spidey being better than batsy at anything, leave alone something as big as the box office, rankles.

mr. nolan, aware that there are worse things that can happen to one’s career than being the object of pissed off letters, does not disappoint. the movie is chock full of “gosh wow” moments –

crook :where are you?!

batman(whispers): here.

crook –egad!

bruce wayne (having just taken the god awesome batmobile for a spin) –does it come in black?

some arbit guy(on bruce wayne’s car) : nice car!

bruce wayne – you should see my other one.

my favorite one – “he’s here.” “who?” “the batman!”

michael caine’s turn as alfred is one of the best things about the movie. he transforms wanye’s soft-spoken, umbrella carrying butler into the friend, philosopher and guide that batman so badly needs. and he has a wicked, impudent sense of humor, ever so gently pulling master bruce’s leg. i hope the old man stays alive long enough to appear in the next batman movie (assuming that the dark knight will be the smashing success i figure it to be. who’d agree to spend a record breaking 100 million $ promoting a bad movie?)

gary oldman is a terrific jim gordon. although i long to talk about the many, many amazing aspects of the movie, i’m aware that doing so would definitely ruin your dark knight experience. but i just have to make a mention of the batman – scarecrow fight. pure evil! and the batmobile sequences….the ‘hundred plus through black and white, warhorse, warhead, fuck ‘em man white knuckle tight’ part of ‘fuel’ never made much sense to me, but now i have a rough idea of what james hetfield was talking about.

‘nitro junkie paint me dead’, indeed.

i can’t remember the last time i enjoyed a movie this much. the entire hall seemed to be filled with batman fanboys – some of the cooler moments were met with the cheering and clapping usually reserved for rajnikanth movies. in particular, the scene where bruce wayne returns to the cave to confront his childhood fear saw some of the loudest and longest sustained examples of whistling in a movie theatre since the legendary entry scenes of the superstar (where the camera would focus on his shiny new ‘sportshoes’ and then move up to show us his face, which was when our talaiva would yank his arm out to throw a snappy salute, grinning like a madman throughout).

the soundtrack? as a friend of mine from delhi would have succinctly put it - “it’s pUmpiNg!”

i hate this....

where do you come from, oh red, itchy bumps. you have appeared on me nose randomly. it's not like i spend all me time outside waiting for every little proboscus of every insect to penetrate me skin, mind you! so please, take me to your mothership, oh red, itchy bump. take me there so that i may infiltrate your queen with loud karate chops to the abdomen, preventing birth of your future siblings.