lord's greatest gift

occasionally, i like eating in fancy restaurants; the experience is a complete contradiction in comparison to eating at ‘ordinary’ places, which by itself is another amazing experience.

i like a lot of things in a fancy restaurant, the way the napkins are folded, the lighting, the way the table is set, the way the waiter of dubious chinese origin walks around the place (much like a shaolin monk), the couples having a ‘moment’ between a meal, (not that i stare, just assuming that they do, i am sure they do, we have had such ‘moments’), the humbling effect a waiter invokes in me by calling me ‘sir’, that’s by far the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.

actually, the most uncomfortable feeling in the world is asking for permission to use the loo, anyways, its right up there with all the top uncomfortable feelings.

i try and put on me best behavior, i tend to eat me meal like a time traveler who has just traveled from the victorian era.

last week, i went to magnolia, a fancy chinese place in koramangala, with two of me mates. a shaolin monk disguised as a waiter welcomed us with a smile; we acknowledged his gesture with an enthusiastic nod and entered the place, of course, i was leading the hungry pack, three steps into the posh interiors of magnolia, me mate whispers into me ear

“dude your pant......its torn from the backside”

“what? “

me hand involuntarily moves to check the level of damage,

“no, don’t check, trust me. you will attract attention, just walk in front of me”

i did as i was told. we got to our seats and for obvious reasons i took the seat next to the wall.

the next forty-five minutes i was the butt of all jokes, good fun nevertheless.

the food was typically ‘fancy’. it was only after dinner when i went to the restroom did i realize the magnitude of the situation, what was previously me back pocket was now a four-inch-by-four-inch window into me inside world. i literally crawled out of the bathroom like an exposed snail and convinced rajat to part with his pullover type thingy,
i tied the pullover type thingy around me waist like an 80’s rock star and spent the next half hour wondering if i spent half the day walking in and around mg road with me left butt hanging out for everyone to see.

me last thought before i put up this post:

underwear after free will is god’s greatest gift to mankind.