someone played it today at work and whenever i listen to it, it makes want to pick up a mallet and go after its composer (a certain Preetam, FYI) yelling, ‘come out and take your medicine, you little shit’ ala Jack Torrance in The Shining.
Dhoom machale dhoom machale DHOOM!
Dhoom machale dhoom machale DHOOM!
just when you’ve been reduced to a nervous wreck by the fiftieth repetition of that utterly inane chorus, redemption appears in sight –
do you want more? a voice asks.
HELLAFUCKING NO!!! i scream inwardly.
are you sure? , it insists.
‘COURSE I AM, YOU STUPID BITCH!!
oK!! , the voice says cheerfully. One..Two…Three..Four
Dhoom machale dhoom machale DHOOM!
Dhoom machale dhoom machale DHOOM!
the chorus drives on and on, gathering a limpet-like grip on all the pain centers in my brain. the damnedest thing about it is that long after it stops playing, the chorus lingers in your head and throws your thought process off kilter. (the Beatles with their “i am the walrus, goo-goo-joob” or Oasis with ‘Digsy’s Diner’ have the same effect, but in a good way. ‘dhoom machale’ is more like a splinter that gets into your fingers and refuses to come out no matter how much you poke at it, and just as painful).where DHOOM MACHALE are we DHOOM MACHALE going? DHOOM!!
Uh, what DHOOM was i about to DHOOM say?
there are two kinds of bad songs. there are the songs that make you laugh like Sean Paul’s ‘Get Busy’ or Shaggy’s ‘It Wasn’t Me’,(‘we were both butt naked banging on the bathroom door, how could i forgot that I had given her a spare key?’).
and there are others that inspire homicidal tendencies in the sanest of people.
serial killers aren’t born that way, you know. somewhere along the way some radio station played one of the following songs one time too many. a blood vessel bursts. and the rest is history, but with a lot of dead bodies in it
.
“Hello” – Lionel Richie – the fact that Mr. Richie has these shifty eyes that belong to people who dress up as plumbers and then do bad things to housewives doesn’t bother me. that bothers me is this song ‘Hello’. “Hello…is it me you’re looking for?” he asks in a hopeful voice. no, i’m looking for my remote.
“Red red wine” – UB40 – the UB40 version of this song should actually have been titled ‘Red red whine’. the vocalist sounds like Elmer Fudd parodying Bob Marley, and the result is as noxious as it sounds.
anything by Kumar Sanu – The Great Nose of
some song that goes ‘That’s the waaaay…maahi ve!’ words that should no longer be part of any song – ‘soni’, ‘kudi’, ‘munda’, ‘maahi’. the host of that famous talk show ‘Koming out of the Kloset with Karan’ should realize that while non-resident punjabis might love watching elaborate weddings, we, the people who actually live in india, do not live in endless wheat fields and don’t wear fifteen layers of clothing. why, then, is this song so popular? *disgusted shake of the head*
‘Last Resort’ – Papa Roach – ‘my IQ is more than forty/so i can’t dig this song/you lazy duds should try a little harder/and not simply rip Maiden off’. Bah!
obvious choices like Britney Spears or Backstreet Boys are not included because i think it would look amateurish and not in keeping with the image i’m trying to build for myself – a knowledgeable music lover who can suggest two different alternatives to any band you’ve come across (obviously, i pretend to like Radiohead, even though i secretly wish their songs got to the point quicker).
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Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs.Rather it condemns the oppression ot persecution of others--John F. Kennedy..;)
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